WHY US ??

Sometimes in life, things go wrong and this is what happened with my daughter. At age 12-13 she started acting out. My first husband had just moved on to "greener pastures" (and he never looked back) leaving me alone with my two daughters to cope the best as I could. This was a particularly bad time for him to leave, because his daughter needed him so badly. I was working full time, trying t0 make ends meet, and also take care of my family. He left us with very little money to live on. Back then the child support laws were bad, not like they are in todays enviroment. I refused to go on welfare. It just wasn't something I would consider. I had always been taught to work hard and do the best you could to provide for your family.

My daughter, up until she was about 12-13 years of age, excelled in school, won first prize in a poetry contest for the Ladies Community Club. She won a bicycle for gathering the most donations for the American Cancer Society. My father was dying of cancer, and she thought this was a wonderful tribute for him, which it was. My father passed away from cancer at age 62. My daughter was so pleased she had been able to honor my Dad by her actions with the ACS.

One day, it was like a light-switch went off -my daughter's complete personality changed almost over night. She started sluffing school, running away, and just doing things that were out of character, and destructive. It concerned me greatly, because, first her behaviour was so out of character, and I was alone. Back in those days, everything was blamed on bad parenting and bad behavior. Little did we know, that YEARS down the line, her behavior would have a word assigned to it. Yes, it was heartbreaking to see this happen to a beautiful young girl. It was like a whirl wind...and I couldn't stop it from happening. My pleas to her father to help, went on deaf ears.

For years, I was alone, working and trying to make ends meet. Many nights I would be out looking for my daughter, then go to work the next day, without sleeping. I firmly believe some Higher Power was watching out for me, because many times I would be able to find her and bring her home. Sometimes though, I couldn't, and those were troublesome times for both of us. Running away from home, for young girls, is not good. They are extremely vulnerable. The expression "when bad things happen to good people" would certainly apply. Some of the things that happened had far-reaching consequences. The biggest concern for me was, that she would come home alive at all. Being out alone, at such a tender, young age, is asking for trouble. She was with a peer group that wasn't the best.

After a couple of years of running away, her behavior started to become more bizarre. I didn't know what was going on, and back in the "old days" there wasn't the help and knowledge available that there is now. I have thought many times to myself, how unfortunate this was, because now there is so much more knowledge, less stigma, and more acceptance of mental illness and far better treatment. Mental illness was a taboo subject way back when. Mental illness is a hard hand to be dealt....both to the person and also to the family. Many times families walk away because it is easier than dealing with all the issues. I couldn't walk away though...she is my daughter and I love her (but sometimes it is very difficult to keep this perspective.) I will continue our story again soon.

But I want to leave you with a thought.....WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU LEMONS, MAKE LEMONADE !!!!